Comments on: Question of the Week: If God existed, what would you ask him?

By: The Skepdick

The Skepdick — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 21:19:19 +0000

“What the hell!!???” Really! Just “WHAT THE HELL???”.

Then, I’d have to call him names.

By: Gittins

Gittins — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:30:07 +0000

“What’s the deal with all those fossils you put in the ground? Just decorative?”

By: Colonel Molerat

Colonel Molerat — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 09:05:01 +0000

@Barbara,
Hmmm… If he(?)’s omnipresent, does that mean I can share?

By: Marsh

Marsh — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 08:50:45 +0000

This one came in from ‘BibleAlsoSays’ on Twitter:

“How could a perfect, all-knowing, all-powerful God make the Second Batch of humans so incredibly stupid? Imagine what the first batch was like!”

By: Barbara

Barbara — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 23:52:09 +0000

Dear God,

I hear you are perfect in every way. So…
Will you marry me?
I take it you are Corgi registered and part p approved, a dab hand with an iron (a what?) and a mean cook. And pretty fit.
You can have Sunday off.
RSVP

By: 2ndimpression

2ndimpression — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:13:39 +0000

1) Am I real or just a figment of your imagination?

2) Did you make a mistake with creating the Neanderthals or was it a dry run?

3) What were you doing before you created the universe, and if you are outside time, why did you wait an infinitely long time before creating the universe?

By: Colonel Molerat

Colonel Molerat — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:33:33 +0000

Ha! Don’t you know a strategic retreat when you see one!
Everybody knows, the finest warriors work for the highest bidder! Or, as this case may be, whoever has the biggest guns – who would ever dare fight the leader of an army with such devastating technology as volcanoes, tsunamis and Ray Comfort??
The banana is, after all, the atheist’s nightmare…

By: Marsh

Marsh — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:21:10 +0000

Colonel Molerat :
I’d probably start brown nosing pretty sharpish – if Hell was also real, and being an unctious twat the only way out of it, then I’m afraid I’d quickly throw my dignity away…

Well who would have thought we'd see the day when our very own fearless Colonel Molerat would turn turkey/chicken. Frankly, that might even be deserving of a demotion in the Molerat army! Major Molerat is too alliterative, so perhaps Captain Molerat it is...

By: Colonel Molerat

Colonel Molerat — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:32:11 +0000

I’d be pretty petty, actually…
Depending on what this God was like, I may take a few different courses:
I’d probably ask where my loved ones where, regardless of this god’s attitude. then:
If they are the evil worship-me-or-go-to-Hell type, I’d probably start brown nosing pretty sharpish – if Hell was also real, and being an unctious twat the only way out of it, then I’m afraid I’d quickly throw my dignity away…
If god was a nicer, friendlier type, I’d probably ask where to score the best drugs – an eternity of boredom to waste, with none of the negative side effects of even the wildest substances? Fantastic!
Once those practical issues were sorted, I’d try and sit down for the philosophical chat that would HAVE to occur at some point. In this chat, I would ask:
“WTF?!?!?!?!?!? Whathefuck?!?!?!? What-the-fuck?!?! Why? Why? Why on Earth did you go to all that effort, do all of those stupid, horrible things, create such a messed up world, what-on-fricking-Earth-were-you-on??!”
I think I’d be too bewildered to be surprised.
If god had a good reason for committing horrific acts (“Tse Tse flies are beautiful creations, too!” “Malaria was an accident!” “Genocide victims get spa trips in heaven!”) and his hiding away was a big joke, then I’d probably be quite impressed with the skill of his deception, I’d probably give him kudos – I do have a certain respect for people who can do a good con.
Finally, I’d ask him to explain the strength of belief/level of gittishness correlation, and then ask if I could go to Hell – it does, after all, have the best parties; and the Devil has the best music.

By: Paul

Paul — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:05:27 +0000

Ok, if God existed – actually existed: what would we ask him, her or it?
I would ask: how did he, she or it come into existence?