Putting The ‘P’ In Space


We’ve seen a lot of explanations for UFO sightings in the past – most notably Lighthouses, Surveillance balloons, Chinese lanterns, clouds, meteors, Mars, stars, Venus, the moon, mistaken identities, hallucinations, exaggerations, lies, aircrafts and aliens. Wait, no, that last one shouldn’t be on that list. Not aliens. But the latest explanation to emerge has to top them all – discarded urine. Well, by discarded I mean urine ejected from a shuttle, specifically, not as in ‘left lying around’. In the latter sense a lot of urine gets discarded, granted, but only the former sense leads to UFO sightings.

I’m talking specifically about a bright sparkling glow seen in the night sky over Wisconsin, USA, which left skygazers searching for an explanation. Was it a comet? Could it have been aliens? Well, no, as it turns out – it was in fact the frozen waster water from the shuttle Discovery, which was jettisoned by pilot Kevin Ford in preparation for a landing attempt the following day. Rumours that he had previously attempted the jettison but had been unable to complete the task while his fellow-astronauts were watching are not true, most notably because I just made them up. Because I’m childish sometimes.

Explaining the lights, caused by sunlight hitting the frozen waste water and sublimating the ice into water vapour, NASA spokeswoman Kylie Clem said: “It would have been a large quantity because we don’t do water dumps while docked to the station now, in order to prevent potential contamination”.

It’s definitely worth checking out the photos, they’re quite spectacular – easily the most spectacular photos of urine you’ll ever see. There’s an unusual sentence for you.

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