2010 – A Psychic Insight (part I)


As any talking calendar will tell you, it’s 2010. The New Year always bring with it the same traditional things – people complaining about how weird it looks to write the date now, and how they keep writing the old date; TV and Radio shows doing lazy ‘lets look back at the year that just passed’ affairs (exactly like I did last week on Righteous Indignation…); and psychic predictions. Guess which of those I’m most interested in?

Correct. I don’t know what it is about the transition from December 31st to January 1st that makes us all look, wide-eyed and wonder-filled, for insights into the upcoming 12 months – after all, when you’re predicting events in the next year, you’d be as well to start on any particular date you fancied. Especially when you’re just making stuff up. Perhaps it’s a little harsh to suggest readers of stars, tarot cards, auras, weird-spirit-guidey-ghosts and tea leaves are just making up their seery-wisdom… so let’s take a look at some of the offerings, and see what 2010 has in store…

As the astrology section of Sify.com tells us:

Taurus:

“In the horoscope of Taurus, Saturn is not fully favorable but Jupiter is favorable which will help in matters relating to employment, financial gains and success in works initiated by the native. The transit of Jupiter in Pisces in May 2010 will make the planet more favorable. It will help in educational matters and property-related issues” – Source: Sify.com

So, the great Saturn is displeased, but Jupiter is loving Taureans, and as such they’ll be getting help in employment, money, success, education and property. Good year for notorious pop-based paedophile Gary Glitter, then (born May 8th). I wonder how the success in employment will benefit him, specifically. I bet Pol Pot (born May 19th) is kicking himself that he died 22 years before he had a chance for Jupiter to give him a hand on the property ladder – it would have really helped with his occupations, I suspect.

Still, kicking astrology is a bit like kicking a lame bull/goat/lion/virgin/set of scales – it’s not big, it’s not clever, and it’s not great blogging material. Instead, how about we take a look at the predictions of a system a bit more up to date and specific than a pseudoscience that’s thousands of years old… those of psychics and clairvoyants then. Yeah. Still, why just look at one, when the website boomers-write.com happily gives us the wild claims of THIRTEEN peddlers of woo.

Included in the unlucky bakers’ dozen (you’d have thought they, of all people, would believe 13 unlucky!) are such great, wise luminaries as Roxanne Hulderman, Joshua the Psychic (so psychic, it’s right there in his name! Mr and Mrs ‘The Psychic’ must be so proud of there little boy…), Hans Christian King (who proudly claims to work with four spirit guides – although it’s unclear whether any of those guides are an ugly duckling or a Little Mermaid) and Sylvia ‘The Kid’s Dead’ Browne. Lets see what they have to say…

On the topic of ‘Economy‘:

“Hulderman foresees global financial corporations and banks around the world beginning to merge. There will be a banking crisis with many failing, bankruptcies, long lines and even riots in the streets”

I think she’s made the mistake of predicting 2009, there…

“She also says the value of gold will soar to new heights and a new gold-backed currency will be developed. Silver will also rise in value”

A gold-backed currency? I’m not how this works, unless she’s proposing we start gilding one side of the £1 coin…

“Oil will fluctuate and then “go through the roof.” She adds that food prices will rise due to inflation”

Aaaaand we’re back to predicting 2009 again. This psychic lark is hard work – it seems to be really tough to see which year your predictions are coming from!

“Joshua says most people will be better off financially in 2010 based on the fact that the numbers total 3, which signifies abundance. The economy should improve by at least 30 per cent”

The numbers total 3? As in 2+0+1+0? That’s the great insight from Joshua the psychic, there. They don’t call him Joshua the psychic for nothing, you know! Well, no, they call him that because he tells them it’s his name.

“Hans Christian King predicts the economy will improve and the price of oil will no longer be based on the U.S. dollar. India and China will be that driving force and will become the “power brokers” in the world. The U.S. on the other hand, will become a debtor nation. Oil will subsequently clime above $100/barrel but will not affect the world until 2012. He adds that Americans will learn to live with less, return to old spending habits and find new ways to enjoy personal and family fulfillment”

OK, now we have a genuine prediction, I accept that. Admittedly it’s an economist’s prediction, derived not from any psychic insight but from a basic understanding of finance. Pop into an accountants and I think you’ll hear the same prediction (and that’s not even counting those psychic accountants…)

Carmen Harra, who claims to be a metaphysical intuitive, says:

“The current financial system will collapse and will have to be replaced, like Europe’s new currency but she doesn’t know what will replace it”

That’s fair – she’s a metaphysical intuitive, not a financial one. Although she does later advise people to save money where they can. I guess that intuition’s good for something. then she agreed that ‘an awakening due to the number 3 energy of 2010 would result in people realizing the opportunity for positive change’, so perhaps she’s just as crap-filled as the rest of them.

Derek Calibre’s economic prediction is particularly interesting:

“Calibre predicts a moderate recovery, especially in Asia. He added that Canada will have a “stellar” wine year”

Interesting, in that it’s not a prediction and it’s not about the economy, that is.

The ‘Envrionment‘ category is similarly poor quality – Hulderman predicts an earthquake in San Francisco or San Bernadino, where they have eathquakes all the time. She also predicts there will be a tsunami, but doesn’t say where. Laura Scott advises that the US will promote recycling, which they’ve been doing for years. Donna Henes predicts we will realize our “dangerous disconnect from nature” and sincere attempts will be made to rectify this – which doesn’t actually mean anything.

In ‘Politics‘, Hans Christian Anderson King predicts Hilary Clinton will win the Nobel Peace Prize ‘due to international tensions’, which is lovely and vague. Harra predicts Pres. Obama will see that things he’d hoped to accomplish in 2009 did not materialize, so he will have to become more flexible in his decision-making – which is interesting, as it speaks to what Obama ‘hoped’ to achieve, giving a huge out for the psychic when nothing happens. ‘Oh, well, there’s a difference between what he said and what he hoped’. Calibre predicts the death of a former president – naming no names. The there’s the genuinely beautiful in it’s lack of detail:

“Michelle Obama will be criticized for the way she handles an issue or a new role she seeks… As well, Hillary Clinton will both celebrate and cry this year”

It’s hard to argue with that. But I’ll give it a go – it’s bereft of any details, any depth and any meaning. It’s a non-prediction. It’s on par with my new prediction: ‘In the new year, Derek Calibre will say something meaningless in, and will both feel warm and also feel cold during the year’.

Coming up tomorrow – more insightful looks into the future from our dirty dozen-and-a-bit, plus Sylvia Browne’s expert health advice…

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  1. #1 by Jerry on January 11, 2010 - 14:35

    A gold-backed currency? I’m not how this works, unless she’s proposing we start gilding one side of the £1 coin…

    She’s obviously been listening to Glenn Beck:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/14/business/media/14beck.html

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