Chuck Norris doesn’t read books: he stares them down till they give him the information he wants. Oh, and Rome? He did build that in a day. And you know what’s underneath that beard? Another FIST!
These are just a few of the nonsense ‘facts’ ascribed to martial-arts yeti Chuck Norris that fly about the internet. Fortunately for him, none of them touch on his acting ability. If you listened to our podcast, Skeptics With a K, yesterday, you will have heard Mike ‘The Health Ranger’ Adams’ completely un-ironic list of facts about Skeptics. You know the score: Skeptics don’t believe in anything, we work for Big Pharma, kill babies, that kind of thing… So for this week’s Question of the Week, we thought he’d give a Chuck Norris inspired response to Adams’ drivel.
The Question of The Week is this: What kind of Chuck Norris style nonsense facts can you ascribe to Skeptics that Mike Adams missed?
The funniest answer won’t recieve anything except our undying admiration, but if that’s good enough for Chuck Norris then it’s good enough for us!
#1 by Tom W at January 29th, 2010
“Skeptics will abort your future children now.”
Ona different note, I did hear a good Chuck Norris one the other day:
“Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in three moves.”
#2 by AexMagd at January 29th, 2010
Skeptics don’t believe in zero, because you can’t divide by it and everyone knows that numbers are things you can divide by.
#3 by PurePareidolia at January 29th, 2010
“Skeptics believe people evolved from bigfoot, that’s why they say there’s no bigfoot anymore”
#4 by Matthew Taylor at January 29th, 2010
You never see skeptics in the same room as Gillian McKeith. Coincidence?
#5 by Allan at January 29th, 2010
Skepticism: Harshing your mellow auras since ancient times.
#6 by London Lulz at January 30th, 2010
The Mersyside Skeptics Society put babies back into the womb to be aborted a second time.
The Mersyside Skeptics Society don’t believe that God, Jesus, or even their own parents love them without COLD HARD PROOF!
The Mersyside Skeptics Society suffered HARMFUL SIDE EFFECTS from their recent homeopathic ‘overdose’ – they just don’t believe in side effects either.
The Mersyside Skeptics Society may hate all religions, but they ESPECIALLY HATE YOURS!
#7 by Dawgberry at January 30th, 2010
Skeptics dont believe in anyone called Faith
#8 by Alan Tench at January 30th, 2010
Well I might take you lot seriously if you could spell – which you can’t. It’s SCEPTIC with a ‘c’.
#9 by Amanda at January 30th, 2010
Skeptics don’t believe in anything. Only their skepticism keeps them from being atheists.
‘To belive in luck’ – is skepticism
Skepticism is slow suicide
Skepticism destroys the soul
#10 by pete at January 31st, 2010
I’ve got nothing to add except to say what a laugh I had at the 1023 campaign. Thank God (who?) someone’s taking this bullshit pseudoscience on in the media!
ps. If I’m anti-homeopathy, does that mean I can cure my flatulence with a 1kg block of sulphur?
Pete – An Australian Skeptic
#11 by Bruce at January 31st, 2010
when socrates announced “all I know is that I know nothing!” a sceptic in the background shouted “are you sure, man?!”
#12 by Mark at February 1st, 2010
Skeptic rock bands don’t rehearse… they have an evidence based practice
#13 by mick at February 2nd, 2010
Skeptics don’t pay bills (or can walk through walls). They stop believing in them till they disappear.
Skeptics aren’t allowed to fly Saudi Air. Their lack of faith prevents the planes taking off.
Chuck Norris thought he could take on a skeptic, but he was too sure of himself.
Skeptics are never convicted by a jury. There’s always a reasonable doubt.
#14 by Adam Morva at February 2nd, 2010
Haha, I love all four by mick.
#15 by nobby at February 2nd, 2010
skeptics don’t read scientific papers, they guess what is wrong with it and hope no one checks.
it has been statistically proven (p<0.06) that skeptics are wrong.
#16 by Michael at February 5th, 2010
Nice one Pete. Welcome to the North West of Pommie land!