Question of the Week/Fortnight/Miscellaneous Holiday Period: New Year’s Resolutions


Well, it’s the New Year! Almost. At time of writing, it’s still New Year’s Eve, we’re all partying like it’s two-thou-sand-and-nine and the decade still has time to surprise us with something. A bunch of flowers from the 24-hour garage would do – it’s the thought that counts. Round about this time of the year, everyone asks everyone else if they’ve made any New Year’s Resolutions, and everyone tells everyone ‘Oh, well, I don’t tend to do much because I know I’m not going to stick to any of it beyond the middle of January, but I am going to try to <insert wildly ambitious life-changing decision>’

I for one won’t be making any resolutions, except that I resolve to make a maths-based continuous/discrete gag every time someone tells me to be discreet, and also I resolve not to make wild resolutions that I’m never going to stick to in a month of Sundays. Or even one Sunday, for that matter. But what are we to do in the hideous gaps in conversations that will arise from having no resolutions to natter about at the water-cooler/generic-cliched-meeting-place when we all trudge back to work? Do we stand in silence? Do we mime speaking and hope our colleagues all assume they’ve been struck deaf? Here’s a better idea:

Make up some New Year’s Resolutions – the barmier the better, the more ludicrous the lovelier, the more x the y-er.

And have a great 2010, especially since we only have two years left until the Mayan zombie apocalypse draws an Asteroid made of CO2 into one of our volcanoes and triggers the end of the world. Or something. I never bothered watching that film, to be honest. I hear it’s good though.

(Regular readers may have spotted we’ve put nothing out in well over a week. Apologies, we’ve been lazily picking at what’s left of the Christmas Turkey, not because we’re hungry, just because it’s been there in the fridge when we’ve got the milk out for our cups of tea, and it’s rude not to, after all… Regular service will resume in 2010)

  1. #1 by Gavin on January 1, 2010 - 17:01

    My personal new years resolution is to not become a heroin addict. It should be pretty easy to achieve, and will give me a nice buzz when we get to the end of 2010 and I haven’t broken it.

  2. #2 by Mike on January 1, 2010 - 17:47

    My new year’s resolution is to breathe at least once every minute. I’m going to keep it for the year, or die trying!

  3. #3 by Gittins on January 4, 2010 - 13:15

    My new year’s resolution is 1920 x 1200

    Geek Joke!

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