Question of The Week: Can You Write A Skeptical Limerick?

Our last Question of The Week was to write a Skeptics With a K slogan for a t-shirt based on the show, and we’ve had a great response. Thanks to everyone who’s posted their suggestions. We’ve loved reading them so much in fact, that we’ve decided to keep the competition open, so please continue to give us your suggestions. You never know, you could be wearing a t-shirt with your own words on it sometime in the near future!

This doesn’t mean we’re not going to have a Question of The Week this week, however. We’re nothing less than generous and we don’t want to cheat you, so as well as keeping last week’s question open there’s still going to be a new one this week.

You may have heard Marsh’s skeptical limericks on the new episode of Skeptics With a K released yesterday, as well as my and Mike’s attempts to formulate our own cheesy verse in response. What about all of you at home? Do you think you can compete with Marsh in the Skeptical Limericks stakes?

This is our Question of The Week: Can You Write a Skeptical Limerick?

Why not have a go? If you think you’re up to it, drop us a line. We’d love to hear what you’ve come up with.

Post your Limericks in the comments section below…

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  1. #1 by Saronimo on April 9, 2010 - 09:55

    We’ve good reason to equate
    All kinds of woo with ‘hate’
    From the absurd NuttSack
    To cracking your back
    You might as well self-medicate!

    Saronimo x

  2. #2 by Jo on April 9, 2010 - 10:18

    There was a young group on a mission
    They urged us to sign a petition
    ‘Get that crap off Boots’ shelves!’
    Then they poisoned themselves
    MSS – there’s just no competition!

  3. #3 by miniviva on April 9, 2010 - 14:12

    there once lived a skeptic named marsh,
    who, upon an unfortunate podcast,
    unleashed three dodgy rhymes
    against poetry a crime
    at least he kicked homeopath arse

  4. #4 by Nonsanity on April 9, 2010 - 18:21

    There was a conspiracy nut
    Who’s convictions confused him somewhat
    Any which way he turned
    A conspiracy burned
    Thus he spun, with his head up his butt

    The conspiracy nut had a friend
    Who would ally with him till the end
    An absurdity claimed
    Would be sited and named
    Room for two, derriere? (See a trend?)

    Conspiracy lovers abound
    Look for one – find a hundred around
    G.I. tracts are impacted
    Not a head is extracted
    Yet conspirators never are found

    Anomalies are bread and butter
    To conspiracy nuts and to other
    Ghost-hunting kooks
    Who claim they find spooks
    In each bright spot they snap with a shutter

    But anomaly hunters don’t care
    About facts even if made aware
    That the points they thought strong
    Are just out-and-out wrong
    “All the experts Big Brother ensnares!”

    So when faced with a rabid baboon
    Crying, “We never went to the moon!”
    These fools, nuts, and hicks
    Evolution will fix
    And it just cannot happen too soon!

  5. #5 by Nonsanity on April 9, 2010 - 18:57

    But that last one I wrote last year, so to write a new one here and now…

    A concoction of fungus and herb
    May contain a cure that’s superb
    But how much and how strong?
    The dosage is wrong!
    And the poisons imbibed will “disturb”

    Though with fungus and herb there’s a CHANCE
    Of finding a cure… at third glance.
    Homeopathy’s fail
    Means the air you inhale
    Is a huge therapeutic advance!

  6. #6 by Michael on April 9, 2010 - 19:38

    There was a young girl from E-ton,
    whose warts were a problem as you could see ’em.
    So she took some cures,
    From a chiropractic nurse,
    And now she’s so skint; she stays in.

    A very sick lad was near ending it all
    he was so infectious, he had a sign on his door
    He saw a lady homeopath,
    who precribed – 30C hernias of an ass
    His virus killed her! What a score!

    Deepak Chopra is a Doctor
    Of what ? It is hard to muster
    When dealing with disease
    He threatens medical trainees
    “Its all due to quantum and Omega!”

    Well I tried! They took 5 minutes and it shows.

  7. #7 by Michael on April 9, 2010 - 19:43

    MSS is group of ‘nay sayers’
    Of who they ‘nay say’ are the fakers
    On challenging some WOO
    They bit of more than they could chew
    When the wooers were actually JREF’ers.

  8. #8 by Michael on April 9, 2010 - 19:45

    Fourth line should read
    “They bit OFF…”
    Sorry for the type-o

  9. #9 by Michael on April 9, 2010 - 19:52

    Or tis one…

    Of the sceptical POD CAST elite
    Our little Marsh is top of the heap!
    As podcasters offer gold for his words
    Mike and Colin suffer and curse
    As a family show, this ends with a BLEEP

  10. #10 by Michael on April 9, 2010 - 20:20

    What about the other guys that get to the skeptics in the pub? So here are two ditties!

    Sceptics Pete and Andy are two great blokes
    With ample good humour and funny jokes
    But the humour begins to sour
    With he appearance of the brothers ‘Power’
    Then their hands tighten around their scrawny throats

    Or maybe this apologetic:

    On woo that covers quantum mechanical fever
    The ‘Skeptic’s with a K’; fluff and clinker
    They’re feeble at being good cynics
    On the woo science of the psychics
    Signed; ‘disgruntled’ the PHYSICS PROFESSOR!!!

  11. #11 by Jon d on April 10, 2010 - 23:46

    You can not cure childhood disease
    By clicking the joints of kids knees
    But say so in print
    And before you can squint
    You’re ruined by libel case fees

  12. #12 by Mathew Partridge on April 12, 2010 - 15:12

    There once was a Quack from France
    who said “Give sugar pills a chance”.
    But the Skeptic cried “Treason!”,
    “against science and reason”
    and speared the Quack his lance.

    Struggled on the last line!

  13. #13 by mathew partridge on April 12, 2010 - 22:11

    Correction *

    The last line should read

    -And skewered the quack on his lance-

  14. #14 by T J Williams on April 13, 2010 - 22:47

    There was a young Catholic sister once,
    Who suffered from cognitive dissonance,
    Was religion invention?
    Or fire prevention?
    She vowed to examine the difference,

    Said her Mother Superior, sighing,
    “Why is it the church you’re decrying?”
    She said, “I don’t need proof,
    To believe it’s the truth,
    But I’d like LACK of proof that you’re lying”,

    Though her sisters were bitter and full of scorn,
    She discarded her biblical uniform,
    She sought the astrologists,
    And bullshit apologists,
    and makers of “My Little Unicorn”,

    She followed the foulest and greasiest,
    With no better friends than their PC is,
    The fraud and the faker,
    The Dream-Catcher maker,
    McKeith and her fleecing with faeces,

    The psychs talking shite about psyche,
    The quacks talking “like curing likey”,
    One afternoon’s probe,
    Made her homeophobe,
    ‘Cos it all sounds a bit David Icke-y,

    She returned where her journey’d begun,
    and was asked “Now your mission is done,
    In meeting the skepticical,
    Have you any faith kept at all?”
    With a smile the young lady said, “Nun.”

  15. #15 by bob dezon on April 14, 2010 - 19:00

    Merseyside Skeptics are shill’s for “Big Pharma”, but for five easy payments, I can rebalance their Karma.

(will not be published)