All About Animals


Just the other week, I touched on the amazing story of Robin Alexis, the psychic who claims to be able to psychically shoehorn the spirit of Michael Jackson into the unborn foetus of a couple of strangers. You’d think that would be as ridiculous as psychics can get, right?

Well, you’d be entirely wrong. I present to you exhibit A – Lisa Greene, and exhibit B – Ellen Kohn. Both are perfect examples of their trade, and both featured in newspapers in the last couple of weeks. Let’s take Lisa first.

As Newsweek asked us:

What’s your Pooch Thinking?

Sorry, should have mentioned – Lisa is a pet psychic. Which doesn’t mean she’s a psychic you keep in a cage and feed dead mice to now and then, she’s a psychic who specialises in contacting pets. Which makes me wonder if Newsweek should have changed their title from ‘what’s your pooch thinking’ to ‘what’s our editor thinking?’

“Horses are the most gossipy,” says Lisa Greene, a pet psychic from Houston. “They’ll always tell me everything that’s going on in the barn. Snakes usually have a pretty bizarre sense of humor. And rodents like to spell for me.”

Recently on the schedule: a reading for a whale.

I’d call this whole thing batshit crazy, but Lisa would probably point out that bats are in no way crazy and they actually most love to test her with fiendish logical brainteasers.

Greene, who has worked as a pet psychic for just over 10 years, may, in a busy week, receive anywhere from 15 to 40 calls. “Not all the animals want to talk to me,” she says. “I have some animals flip me the paw.” She considers her services a luxury item, with rates of $120 for an hourlong telephone consultation during which she speaks with the owner, who asks her questions to communicate psychically to the animal, and $240 for in-home/in-barn treatment.

Now, let’s pause for a moment – and that’s not a reference to animals flipping her the paw – and consider what she makes here. For her to come see you, she makes $4 per minute, or around $1 every 15 seconds, to tell you vague and vacuous thoughts your animal had (one animal psychic is quoted in the article as having astoundingly communicated that a dog wanted to ‘see Grandma’ because ‘Grandma feeds me eggs’). But not only that, she can psychically connect with your animal OVER THE PHONE. And what if you’re skeptical, or want support? She deals with that on her website PetPerceptions.com:

“You are welcome to have someone with you during the reading, both in person or over the phone, but please limit the number to two people. Lisa is able to connect with your animals through your energy, so if you have many other people with you, it may be their animals that come through and not yours. Also, if you have someone who isn’t interested in the reading, negative about it or even just having a bad day, their energy will affect your reading.”

Oh, and what’s more:

“During the reading, please let your animals be free to do what makes them comfortable. THEY DO NOT HAVE TO BE NEAR YOU OR THE PHONE FOR A GREAT READING!”

Any ideas how any of this works? Well, here’s a clue, from Lisa’s tips on gaining a great reading:

“Lisa likes to work with specific questions as you get more out of a session when you ask what you want to know. Make a list of questions for each animal. They can be as specific as you like, but please don’t have a specific answer in mind as the answer may not be what you think! If you have certain issues you want to concentrate on, please mention it during the initial phone call, but understand that Lisa will never start a session with problems. Another point to consider is that Lisa cannot change your animals behavior.”

AND

“If you have health concerns with your pet, please just let her know that you’d like her to scan for problems. Normally if there is a health concern that’s really bothering your animal right then, Lisa will pick up on it before she even calls you. She will normally not pick up on health issues or disabilities that your animals are used to. She only picks up on what’s bothering them now and what is coming up.”

AND

“You never know who’s going to come through in a session with Lisa! It’s been known to happen that an animal or person in spirit comes through to relay messages to you. Know that if they expend the energy to come through, there is a reason for it.”

And this is beautiful:

“Lisa does ask that you, the client, pay attention to the time spent in session. During her reading, it’s very hard for her to concentrate on both your animals and the time, so it’s up to you to wind it up in the time you have allotted to spend with your animals. You are always in control of how long a session lasts and you are only charged for the time spent in session.”

Translation – if we go over the time alloted, you’re paying. And Lisa will do what she can to make that happen.

So, that’s exhibit A. What of Ellen Kohn, of Enlightened Animals.com? Well, she was recently featured on AOL News

“Animal Psychic Searches for Reincarnated Pets”

Yeah.

“Pet psychics are serious about their jobs. Dead serious. In fact, to find a missing pet, pet psychics like Ellen Kohn will turn to reincarnation — looking into an animals’ past lives — for clues to where it might be.

This was the case last year when Christine Horowitz lost her 13-year-old golden shepherd, Dina, to cancer. Distraught, Horowitz remembered Kohn, who had mentioned contacting animals in the afterlife during a previous consultation about her mother’s missing cat.”

I have worked with other animal communicators, but I didn’t know any that could find pets reincarnated,” Horowitz said. “I trusted [Kohn], but I was like, ‘How would we find this puppy? Thousands are born every day.'”

And as pet psychics know, there’s one born every minute… enter Ellen Kohn:

“When Kohn began channeling the deceased dog and asked Horowitz about Dina putting her paws on her shoulders, Horowitz was sold — she and Dina would often dance around, always with Dina’s paws on her shoulders.

Sure enough, Kohn kept talking with Dina’s spirit, who led her to a picture on Petfinder.com of a puppy that jumped out at her, and Horowitz eagerly visited Dina’s possible incarnation.

Nine months later, Horowitz is sure this new dog, a foxhound-mix named Annie, is Dina.

“Even my husband, who normally doesn’t believe these things, is like, ‘Oh that’s what Dina use to do,'” Horowitz explained.

New dog does stuff the old dog used to do – hardly a surprise. For one thing, the range of potential doggy activities really isn’t that broad. For another thing, the owners had 9 months of treating this dog like their dead dog, plus 9 months of confirmation bias and animal training. I’m not surprised in the slightest that the two dogs have some traits that could be seen to be alike…

“The animal doesn’t even have to be present for Kohn to chat them up.

After “grounding” herself with a Kabbalistic prayer, getting her prayer stone (a quartz) and touching base with her animal spirit guides, she can be shown a photo or even just talk to the pet owner to make a connection.

Kohn then silently projects messages to the pet, all while taking notes on the words, pictures or feelings the pet sends back.”

How did Kohn find her amazing skills?

“Kohn met a healing touch professional who encouraged her to work with animals. Kohn trained with mentors, first learning to do energy healing and then eventually began communicating when the animals she was working on began to talk to her, telling her what ailed them.

Kohn says talking to deceased pets ended up being a lot like talking to the living.”

I’d agree with this, in a way – talking to dead pets IS a lot like talking to living pets, in that you can do it all you like and the pets are never going to talk back to you.

So, again, I headed over to her website… and buried on the contacts page is Ellen’s advice on how to get the conversation going:

“For interspecies communication, please click on the “Let’s Chat” button to familiarize yourself with the general guidelines I use when we first begin together.”

This opens a PDF, which reads:

“This is an example of some of the general questions that I might ask your animal to get the communication flowing. Then, specific questions might be asked for you or your animal’s needs or concerns.”

Want to hear the questions that help her get the conversation going?

  1. Are you willing to communicate with me?
  2. Share with me what your favorite meal is (or favorite snacks).
  3. Tell me what your favorite activities are.
  4. Share with me your dislikes.
  5. Tell me who your best friend is.
  6. I’d like to know where your favorite place in the house is.
  7. Tell me what your home (barn, outside area for farm animals) looks like.
  8. I’d like to know how you feel physically.
  9. Share with me what you like about being a dog (cat, horse, etc).
  10. Tell me if there is anything you’d like to change about your environment.
  11. I’d like to know what your purpose in life is with your person.
  12. Share with me if there is anything you want me to tell your person.
  13. Tell me if there is anything additional that your person can do for you.
  14. Share with me your age.
  15. Share with me anything about your past you would like me (and your person) to know

I can imagine, once Ellen has answers to all of those, it’s actually a pretty easy conversation from that point onwards…

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  1. #1 by Wendy on February 28, 2011 - 16:37

    Having had several readings with Lisa Greene, and being HIGHLY skeptical at first that this was even remotely possible, I can tell you that it IS possible and she DOES communicate with dogs. There are things that you can question as to whether or not they might be true. But my first experience with LIsa resulted in a factual statement that she could NOT have known. I didn’t know about the incident and kept telling her it wasn’t true. Until I returned home and discovered that it WAS true. You can read my testimonial on her page. Justice is my dog’s name. But briefly…………….she told me that Justice’s feelings were hurt because only one of is “big white rosettes” was displayed and he had won two. When I arrived home, I discovered that one of his “big white rosettes” was displayed on the mantel, the other one was in a stack of stuff on the kitchen table that needed attending to. Fact. Hard cold fact.
    Over the years there have been other hard cold facts that she’s come up with. Before you say that she “leads” you into saying things that she then extrapolates from, Lisa does NOT want you telling her anything other than the dog’s name and age. She will stop you if you begin to tell her anything else. There are pet communicators out there who might not be the “real deal” but Lisa is not one of them. She really, truly is capable of communicating with animals.

  2. #2 by Charli on September 29, 2012 - 16:25

    Lisa Greene is the real deal. Our baby, Niki crossed over June 14, 2010. Lisa had been talking to Niki since 2005. We called Lisa every 6 months so Niki can tell us what’s going on. Everything that Lisa had told us was true. Niki talked to Lisa
    And since her crossing Niki still does.

    Lisa is the real deal.
    Thank you Lisa

  3. #3 by Genie on October 20, 2013 - 17:46

    Obviously you have never actually HAD an interaction with Lisa Greene or you would know that most of what you are saying is ignorant and untrue. I worked with her a few years ago and several of your points are completely false, bordering on libelous.

    First: Lisa does not “do what she can to make sure you go over the alloted time.” In fact, the second time I called her, she was not feeling well and was unable to connect with the cat I had called about. We talked for almost half an hour just about my general concerns about him and she DID NOT charge me for that talk because she didn’t feel it was a true session since she hadn’t connected with the cat. The first time I talked to her, SHE stopped the session after an hour because I had lost track of the time (I had booked an hour appointment).

    Second, like Wendy, I heard several things that I didn’t know that were confirmed after the session, so there is no way Lisa could have gotten me to talk about them in advance. Wendy is correct that she will stop you immediately if you try to give her any information about the cat other than name and age, and she will tell you it is because she doesn’t want to be influenced by having any information. I’ve dealt with other people in the past who will ask tons of questions and then give you very general information that could easily have been derived from the questions. Lisa is NOT LIKE THAT.

    Third, she also performed EFT on my feral, extremely anxious cat and I saw almost immediate changes in his behavior after that. He has to this day continued to improve since my call with her, and I spent over a year working with him before that with minimal progress.

    I suggest you back up your future snarkiness with actual experiential evidence as opposed to just making negative comments based on no facts or actual interaction with her. Lisa IS the real deal.

  4. #4 by Jenny Ruth Yasi on January 11, 2014 - 21:39

    I have seen instances where so-called “pet psychics” have not merely mislead clients, but they have actually caused damage. Pet psychics are ultimately enablers, story-tellers who tell people mostly what they want to hear. People should be learning how to read their dog’s behaviors and body language, they should be learning about animal behavior and how the environment influences behavior. The humans are ripped off of money, but it is really the animals that are cheated the worst. Animals deserve to be understood. If you are looking for help with your imaginary friend, sure go to a pet psychic, but if you have a real dog or cat or other pet, go to a humane animal trainer and listen to what they are telling you.

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