QED Vodka: Why Do Things By Halves…?

I’m sure you all saw our QED Vodka footage by now – where we made a batch of homeopathic vodka for the BBC, and then trialled it around the streets of Liverpool. What fun.

What you might not have seen is the full sales pitch, as (for reasons of time) we had to trim a lot of it down. Still, I had a lot of fun coming up with it, crafting a fine line of bullshit-benefits while never straying from what could be tenuoulsy claimed about a) water and b) the placebo effect. Because if you’re going to do something, why do it by halves?

So, to preserve the sheer bullshit I forced myself to come up with, I thought I’d post it all here (as well as giving you it as a PDF so you can see what was on the other side of that clipboard I’m clutching in the footage).

Enjoy! And get your QED ticket now to sample some QED vodka with us in person in February!

QED Vodka

Nothing is as strong as QED Vodka

QED Vodka is the revolutionary new lifestyle drink made from the finest Russian vodka, potentised and homeopathically-prepared with the finest distilled spring water for a clear, crisp taste. Using methods perfected in over 200 years of research in Germany, QED Vodka’s special potentisation process ensures it provides:

  • All of the benefits of full-strength vodka – Relaxation, More confidence, Mood boost, Less inhibition, Less worries, Help with sleep, Calming of nervousness, Relief from stress.
  • None of the downsides of full-strength vodka – Alcohol taste/smell, Impaired balance, Loss of coordination, Slurred speech, Lowered self-control, Failure of breathalyser, Hangover, Dehydration.

Given QED Vodka’s benefits, it will fit into the market alongside ‘energy drinks’ as Red Bull and Monster, offering a new way for people to boost their mental and physical condition in a natural and perfectly healthy way. In fact, the ingredients of QED Vodka are so safe many Doctors will recommend them for their patients.

Prior to launch, we’re looking to gauge the public’s potential reactions, so along with a free sample we’d appreciate if you’d answer the following questions:

  1. What do you think of the product?
  2. Would you buy it?
  3. How much would you pay for a bottle?
  4. Would you recommend it to a friend?
  5. Would you recommend it be available on the NHS?

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  1. #1 by JohnF on December 10, 2010 - 16:11

    Because if you’re going to do something, why do it by halves?

    If you want to get a 30B strength solution, for instance, then doing it by halves is definitely the way to go.

  2. #2 by Billy on January 16, 2011 - 02:40

    Vodka aside, I’ve plenty of doubts re:homeopathy full-stop. The concept of water retaining “memories” doesn’t sit well with me and it would have to do this if the commercial homeopathic preparations were to be given even the time of day. I read a good book called “Voodoo Science” which covered this. It also has stuff to say about the fallacy of perpetual motion, but that’s another topic. Anyroad, worth a read-I think they’ve still got a copy at Broadway Library.

(will not be published)