Archive for category Space

Moon Drivel

Two weekends ago it was Halloween, which seems to be going from strength to strength of late. The streets normally patrolled by scallies in hoods were patrolled by small children wearing binliners and demanding sweets from strangers. I think the idea is that kids demanding things for seemingly no reason is supposed to be cute on public holidays, but bugger that, I remember trick-or-treating as a kid and I just remember feeling like a prick. There I was, in a plastic mask, demanding money and sweets from neighbours whose garage doors I had repeatedly kicked a football against for about five years. I felt dirty, evil and wrong. And you should, too.

Anyway, this Halloween didn’t just bring out small wannabe witches and devils, it also brought out those absolutely terrible articles that papers like the Daily Mail and the Express seem to wheel out at least once a year when they think they need to rouse their readers from their dark and terrible slumber. Here, have some woo… enjoy its tasteless additives… it will take your mind off hating immigrants and single mothers….
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Putting The ‘P’ In Space

We’ve seen a lot of explanations for UFO sightings in the past – most notably Lighthouses, Surveillance balloons, Chinese lanterns, clouds, meteors, Mars, stars, Venus, the moon, mistaken identities, hallucinations, exaggerations, lies, aircrafts and aliens. Wait, no, that last one shouldn’t be on that list. Not aliens. But the latest explanation to emerge has to top them all – discarded urine. Well, by discarded I mean urine ejected from a shuttle, specifically, not as in ‘left lying around’. In the latter sense a lot of urine gets discarded, granted, but only the former sense leads to UFO sightings.

I’m talking specifically about a bright sparkling glow seen in the night sky over Wisconsin, USA, which left skygazers searching for an explanation. Was it a comet? Could it have been aliens? Well, no, as it turns out – it was in fact the frozen waster water from the shuttle Discovery, which was jettisoned by pilot Kevin Ford in preparation for a landing attempt the following day. Rumours that he had previously attempted the jettison but had been unable to complete the task while his fellow-astronauts were watching are not true, most notably because I just made them up. Because I’m childish sometimes. Read the rest of this entry »


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