Posts Tagged satire

Gary Glitter Announces Conversion To Catholicism

Gary Glitter

Seventies rocker Gary Glitter yesterday spoke out against the ‘petty gossip’ surrounding his convictions for child molestation, while announcing his surprise conversion to Catholicism.

Speaking at a lavish baptism ceremony, the paedophile singer decried the idle chitchat regarding his many proven offences against children from the UK, Cambodia and Vietnam.

“It saddens me that my critics feel the need to tarnish my name with this petty, entirely-accurate and demonstrably-true gossip regarding my repeated crimes against children.”

“Just because something terrible definitely happened, doesn’t give you the right to go on and on about it all the bloody time.” Read the rest of this entry »

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InKredulous: Episode #002

With Iszi Lawrence, Michael Marshall, Martin Robbins and Rich Smith. Presented by Andy Wilson. Send feedback to inkredulous@merseysideskeptics.org.uk

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Boots To Launch Own-Brand ‘Chocolate Teapot’ Range

As part of The 10:23 Campaign, the excellent satirical news site NewsArse.com asked if there was anything we’d like to pen on homeopathy and Boots. Ever the media whore, I duly obliged… full text below. Check out NewsArse.com for more fantastic satirical offerings, too.

The latest edition to the Boots Essentials range

The latest addition to the Boots Essentials range

Boots To Launch Own-Brand ‘Chocolate Teapot’ Range

High-street giants Boots came under scrutiny once more this week after unveiling plans for their own-brand range of teapots crafted from delicious milk chocolate.

The pharmacy – who hit the headlines last month by admitting they sell completely ineffective homeopathic remedies simply because people are willing to buy them – announced the new chocolate teapots as the latest release in their line of alternative crockery.

Boots’ Professional Standards Director Paul Bennett told reporters, “Our strategy is simply, if people are gonna buy this stuff, then we’re damn sure gonna sell it.”

“Its effectiveness as a product is obviously secondary concern when compared to people’s willingness to give us money for it.”

“We’re committed to offering a wide range of choice to our customers, and if anyone chooses to be stupid enough to pay good money for a teapot made of chocolate, then it’s our duty to take that money from them.” Read the rest of this entry »

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